Let's Not Try to Figure Everything Out at Once

Overwhelm is the difference between what you expect out of yourself and what you actually do. It's that disagreement between what you wanted, and what came to be. The static between reality and fantasy. Making it, methinks, pretty important to sort out your expectations.


Most of us have vague notions of things we would like to be better in our lives: save more money, lose some weight, have more time for the fun stuff, feel better on the whole. We humans also generally have a sense of optimism about these things and tend to plan as if things will get better sometime in the future, like next-year-you will somehow be better equipped to deal with the stuff today-you would rather ignore. {Someday I'll sort out my finances...someday I'll stick to the diet...someday the schedule will clear up...someday I'll be ridiculously happy and carefree.}


But I don't know that many of us spend too much time, or effort, in connecting these fuzzy hopes to our subconscious expectations. And the subconscious can be pretty hardcore about it's presumptions.


First things first, and this is a biggie. Let's not try to figure everything out at once. Aka, one thing at a time. Just pick one. You can come back later and tackle the rest. For now, one. {Side note: another part of overwhelm is picking 72 things to do at once. Don't do that.}


Look at the vague thing that you want and try to really understand it. Make it more specific. To get super-duper clear on it, quantify it. Then there'll be no question about achieving it or not. Math doesn't lie, but our subjective sense of "more" or "less", "better" or "worse" is dangerous territory.


Ask yourself why. Why do you want what you want? What's your reason behind the desire? Keep asking ,"Why?" until you can't ask anymore. Drill down to the essence of it. And then...


Make sure you like your intentions. Let's say that part again: Make sure you like your intentions. The importance of this cannot be overstated. If you like the looks of your intentions, nice. Keep on keepin' on. If you don't like your intentions, then it's time to reconsider what you're up to. A serious overhaul may be in order. Getting a new job; trying something for the first time; making a radical change in your diet. There's no better catalyst for dramatic shifts than clarifying your intentions.


Connecting your wild expectations to how you're actually feeling and behaving in your life is an exercise in trading empty wishes for hardcore substantiation. This is a gift only you can give yourself. Much as your partner/mom/BFF/brother/co-worker/cat would like to make your biggest dreams come true, they are wholly incapable of doing so. They'd love to do it, and if they had the power to do it for you, chances are it'd already be done. Suffice to say you have to hire *you* for the job and let your tribe off the hook.


Pick one. Get clear. Ask why. Be sure you're in love with your intentions...or clean. them. up. From there, overwhelm starts to scatter. Overwhelm simply cannot exist in the face of such clarity and connection.


Bonus round: when you truly give yourself one aspect of your life to focus on, you'll see something uncanny begin to show itself. How you do anything is how you do everything. Connecting your expectations to your behaviors in one avenue will create a mold of how you do things. You'll be able to apply that mold over here and over there and way over there. The habits you have will show themselves and you'll see that you've created a blueprint for *who you are*. Which is a handy thing to have...